Commencement Speakers Should Bore You not Piss You Off!

Ah, the soundtrack of my grad year. Quarterflash RULEZZ!

I think when I graduated Catholic High School, our commencement speaker was the Superintendent of Catholic Education or someone who dealt with waterways. Either way, it was hot, he/she/it was boring, I had a date with THE MOST AWESOME GIRL EVER and I just wanted out of there.

When I graduated, at long last, college, the speaker was someone from The State Board of Education, maybe it was even Evelyn Gandy or some who dealt with waterways. At any rate, it was hot, the speaker was not interesting, and I was coerced into having dinner with my family afterwards which felt more like entering nursery school rather than graduating college.

When I graduated St. Mary of the Lake Seminary, the speaker was a bishop of somewhere maybe the Bishop of Waterways. Regardless, it was hot, he was unmemorable, and I was a bit distracted by the Hispanic graduates who were putting the grease in their hair and Aramis behind their ears for the graduation DANZA!! And hot? With those guys: MUY CALIENTE!

The other day, a colleague sent me this and commented: "Why are there speakers at graduation? No one comes to hear the speaker. They come to see someone be graduated. Yet, every year Catholic schools get in controversy over this?"
Here's more:
http://www.advocate.com/Youth/Catholic_Diocese_Bars_Gay_Alum_From_Graduation_Speech/

Catholic grad, gay and maybe in J. Crew

An alumnus of a Catholic high school in Michigan who was supposed to speak at his alma mater's graduation recently learned that his invitation was revoked once school administrators learned that he is gay.
New York City-based actor Dominic Sheahan-Stahl was to speak at Sacred Heart Academy in Mt. Pleasant, Mich., where he graduated in 1998. His youngest brother William is also in this year's graduating class.
Sheahan-Stahl (two names!) is an actor and has appeared in such productions as..nevermindnotimportantleavemealone.

Ok, first: Catholic school speakers suck.  They do. They really do. In our Diocese, the one with the new paradigum of everything ever, speakers run the gamut. Some schools have to appear to adhere to Catholic principles and get some bigwig Catholic speaker while others get someone who is SOCIAL JUSTICE oriented or cheap.
Scratch that.
All of them are cheap. And as far back as my graduating year, the year when rap was for kids and mohawks were for thugs, speakers killed the life out of you.
When I am asked to do a graduation, I hear "You are boring and cheap".

Second: I do not believe this principal can honestly claim to have made a mistake. I think he wanted to BE SIGNIFICANT! But if it was accidental, I'm sure he's gonna go all Pilate and wash his hands and blame someone else.

Third: Yep, blamed someone else.
The decision, according to (principal)Starnes, is now entirely in the Bishop’s hands. The students claimed he made statements in support of gay rights and of our protest of intolerance. They have said that they are grateful for the courage exhibited by their principal in admitting his mistake and working to make a change.
The Bishop ate my hom(osexual)work!

Oh..that's new. Seuss theme.

Fourth: Unsolicited but a bit of advice to Catholic Schools.
1. Don't invite speakers. Especially anyone with a hyphenated last name.
2. If you MUST have a speaker, the waterways guy is good. Even better than a priest or bishop.
3. Still, just don't have a speaker. Don't even have graduations. Email the document and forward it to the higher institution or diesel driving academy the graduate will be attending. Done/done.
Seriously. How many times can you hear some kid read "Oh The Places You'll Go"? Like NO ONE has thought of that before. It's so overdone it's a theme! A FREAKING ZIZZERZAZZERTHEME!
Not to mention, never has a Catholic valedictorian or salutatorian said much about Catholic education. They have quoted Martin Luther King Jr, Einstein, Margaret Mead and I think the bearded guy from "The Hangover" but never the Gospels or any other part of the Bible. Not even the "there is a time for this and a time for that" thing from Ecclesiastes. Come on, that's a slam dunk!
4. Don't have proms either. The nuns hated them in the 50's and they just have gotten worse.


And don't get me started on Catholic colleges-*

*I think I will get started on Catholic colleges, actually....

A little Catholic ROBUSTO!

Put this on the biggest screen you have and turn the volume up. Kind of makes you want to go out and register to vote.

So, yeah....REGISTER TO VOTE!*



*This video is produced by an independent group of Catholic filmmakers and is not endorsed nor supported by the USCCB, the Diocese of Jackson or Catholic Charities. Still, pretty great right?

Honoring our seniors

Entrance to Wellsgate on Highway 6.

This Wednesday (May 2), CCM will host a cookout honoring our seniors... and you're invited. The Knights of Columbus will be cooking for  us out at Wellsgate Lake, just west of Oxford on Highway 6.

When? 6:00pm on Wednesday, May 2nd


Where? East Pavilion of Wellsgate Lake

How do I get there? Take Highway 6 west, towards Batesville. Just outside of town, turn right into the Wellsgate neighborhood. When you enter the neighborhood, you're on East Wellsgate Drive. Stay on East Wellsgate through two stop signs. After the second stop sign, turn left onto Teal Drive. The East Pavilion is at the the end of Teal Drive.

See you Wednesday!

Are you ready for a challenge?

6th century mosaic of Christ as victorious warrior, standing
over evil, symbolized by the lion and the serpent. The book
reads, in Latin, "I AM the Way, the Truth and the Life."

Are you ready for a challenge? Are you?

A challenge of papal proportions? And of eternal consequence?!?

Okay, I'm probably sounding a little excitable here, but it's not without reason. Earlier this week, Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano, the Apostolic Nuncio to the U.S., delivered a speech to seminarians in Columbus, Ohio. And in this speech, the Nuncio divulged Pope Benedict's bold expectations for the Catholic Church in the United States:

"The Church in the United States should lead the entire Church in the world" in a revitalization effort, Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano said. "This is a great task, but you have the determination and the grace to do it. This I know is the vision of the Holy Father regarding the Church in the United States."

In particular, Archbishop Vigano said that he wanted to direct his remarks to young people in the U.S,, and especially to seminarians.

So, to the young adult Catholics reading this: the Holy Father excepts you to be the tip of the spear in a new evangelization. Through your unwavering commitment to Church and your loyal adherence to her teachings, the call has been issued for you to "lead the entire Church in the world," and to inspire others in the world to holiness and to a re-commitment to Catholic orthodoxy.

And this call has come from none other than the Vicar of Christ himself.

Will you accept the challenge?

In Vitro Vincit

THE WAR ON WOMEN CONTINUES!
Understandably, during an election cycle, when it comes to life issues, the Church gets piled in with the GOP. Because we are against abortion. Against gay marriage. And all sorts of things we've been against even before the GOP was formed. But that doesn't keep Chris Matthews happy and sassy!

Doubtless the wags on the television news networks will have the mitre vs the uterus part of the WOMYNWAR blazing by this evening. Knowing I'm gonna be dog cussed over several coffee clatches over this I present:

From the Huffington-Post:
An Indiana teacher who says she was fired from a Roman Catholic school for using in vitro fertilization to try to get pregnant is suing in a case that could set up a legal showdown over reproductive and religious rights.
Emily Herx's lawsuit accuses the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend and St. Vincent de Paul school in Fort Wayne of discrimination for her firing last June. Herx, 31, of Hoagland, Ind., says that the church pastor told her she was a "grave, immoral sinner" and that a scandal would erupt if anyone learned she had undergone in vitro fertilization, or IVF.

I am sure, like the lesbian denied communion story, that this will continue the narrative about the Catholic Church hating women.

As a pastor, I can only explain what I tell couples (not just women) about in vitro:

First, in vitro fertilization is taking the male's sperm and artificially (outside the womb) inseminating the female's egg. After this is done, the fertilized egg is placed, presumably, in the "mother" and carried to birth.
Why is this "grave and immoral" and a "sin"?
The first case is that it divorces the sexual act from procreation. The sexual marital act is life-making and love-making. Just as God loves and makes life, we cooperate in marriage with the Creator.

The second case against it is defined by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF) in the statement on "the gift of life":

In vitro fertilization

In the usual practice of in vitro fertilization, not all of the embryos are transferred to the woman's body; some are destroyed. Just as the Church condemns induced abortion, so she also forbids acts against the life of these human beings. It is a duty to condemn the particular gravity of the voluntary destruction of human embryos obtained in vitro for the sole purpose of research, either by means of artificial insemination or by means of "twin fission." By acting in this way the researcher usurps the place of God; and, even though he may be unaware of this, he sets himself up as the master of the destiny of others inasmuch as he arbitrarily chooses whom he will allow to live and whom he will send to death, and kills defenseless human beings.
... In consequence of the fact that they have been produced those embryos which are not transferred into the body of the mother and are called "spare" are exposed to an absurd fate, with no possibility of their being offered safe means of survival which can be licitly pursued.

I add that the procedure is bottom-line market based. It is rare that it be performed without pretty good odds that a child will be conceived. Thus, sometimes "twin fission" is performed (creating twins by splitting the embryo apart) to cover the odds. The prospective parent is also consumer and may choose whether or not one fertilized embryo will survive or be aborted.

I have told couples that they are in grave sin if they do this. And I praise God we have couples who think enough of their faith to ask me. I need to say this, in bold red: I truly appreciate those who are conscientious enough about their religion to not pull the "forgiveness over permission" route but to actually learn and live with the Church's instruction.

Concerning the scandal, when one chooses to act outside of the Church's teachings then it may lead others to doubt the faith or pursue choices outside the Church's prudence. It is heightened when one is a priest or Church leader. I suppose a Catholic school teacher is also one of those elevated as an example.


I don't pretend to know what the inner-workings of this affair are but suspect that there is something more that is not revealed...yet. It is suspect whenever there is a lawsuit.

I am no scholar so there may be some simplicity to my scientific explanations. I do know the Church's teaching on procreation, however. And it's not because I'm a priest.

It's because I learned about it in Catholic school.

The most interesting confessions in the world

Indeed.

Sacrament of Confession = inestimable gift from Christ to his Church.

Open it. ...often.

He knelt down and wrote in the ground with his finger...

Biblical scholars may continue to ask the question: "What did Jesus actually write in the ground during the encounter with the adulteress?" (John 8:6)
No one will doubt the answer to the question "What did Fr. Joe write on the ground yesterday?"
You can click on the pics to enlarge.

 Ipsi quo ipsi.


Photographic evidence by Steve Stricker.

A bit of good news... but there's work to be done!

Ordination Mass of Fr. Scott Thomas, Diocese of Jackson, in 2010.

After a bit of a blog-posting absence, I wanted to let y'all know that I'm back just in time to join Father Joe in keeping you company (in an unobtrusive online way, not in a creepy, hanging out campus way) during these last few weeks of school.

In the past few weeks, there's been a lot going on in the Catholic world so I've got a lot of catching up to do. But there's no news like good news, so let me start by pointing to a hopeful bit of statistical data for the Church here in the U.S.

According to La Stampa (one of the most well-known and important Italian newspapers), latest statistics show that the Catholic Church in the United States has actually begun to see something of a boom in vocations to the priesthood. You read that correctly. A boom. As in explosion (in a good way). 

In fact, there have been so many applicants in the past couple of years, that some American dioceses have actually had to turn away applicants for lack of room in their seminaries. Crazy, right?

Unfortunately, this boom is not across the board in all American dioceses. How could we be better stewards of the vineyard in our own backyard and encourage a growth in priestly vocations here? 

Well, I'd argue that you consistently see three important commonalities in any dioceses which are experiencing a growth in priestly vocation numbers. Aside from the Holy Spirit, I'd say that these are the three vitally important ingredients to a growth in vocations to the priesthood:  

1) Supportive families, friends and parishes.

It all starts at home, so to speak, and the tiny embers of a potential priestly vocation can either be nurtured or squashed there. Family members (especially parents) and friends have to be supportive of a young man who expresses an interest in a vocation to the priesthood. Even better, family members and friends have to foster a family and social environment in which prayer and love of the Church are key elements. For young men who grow up and come of age in such a family and social environment, a priestly vocation is much more easy to prayerfully discern.

The local parish, too, has to do its part in fostering priestly vocations. From the youngest PSR/CCD class members to the high school youth group, the priesthood should be discussed as an honorable and very real possible vocation for the young men of the parish. None of this once in a blue moon, half-sarcastic, 'cause we have to say it "maybe one of you guys will be a priest" sort of thing. One thing that young people pick up on quicker than anything else is insincerity, so this constant promotion of the priesthood must be genuine. And it must be constant: not a gimmick or a panicky once-per-year appeal. A parish-wide call for young men to consider the priesthood. A measured, continual, heartfelt call. Oh, and don't underestimate the ability of service at the altar is to serve as another gateway which could lead some boys and young men to eventually consider the priesthood.

2) Excited and inspirational priests.

Kids grow up wanting to be professional athletes because they watch and look up to professional athletes. They grow up wanting to be teachers because they like and admire their teachers. Why? Because most athletes and most teachers love what they do. They really believe in what they do and it shows through their dedication and their earnestness. How do you crush a child's dreams of playing a professional sport of teaching a classroom full of children? Let the child have a run-in with a dispirited athlete. Or let them have a jaded teacher who complains about the education system and sarcastically treats the very material that he or she is supposed to be teaching. Hopes dashed.

It can be no different with the priesthood. To continue to produce good priests the Church must have (wait for it...) good priests! Priests who love Christ and his Church, priests who love the priesthood and priests who love serving others in the selfless manner of the Gospel. Wanna quickly kill a budding vocation to the priesthood? Let that young man meet a priest who complains about the Church and her teachings. Let him meet a priest who criticizes the priesthood and loudly espouses doubts and suspicions that the Church is somehow wrong in her teachings about the priesthood (along with other matters). Let him meet a priest who treats his priesthood as a 9-5 job, "clocking in" and "clocking out" and refusing to wear "the uniform" outside of "work hours." Again, hopes dashed.

3) Unconfused commitment to Truth and to priests at the diocesan level. 

Finally, encouragement in priestly vocation must also be patently evident at the diocesan level: from the bishop(s), to the chancery on down. Here, too, the priesthood must be consistently portrayed as a heroic and inspirational calling. Say what you may about the "JPII generation" but men in their 20s and 30s today are not afraid of a higher calling and -- largely because of Bl. John Paul II's bold witness -- many of us willingly accept the challenge to our generation to be radically counter-cultural in our fidelity to the Church and in living out the teachings of Christ.

The dioceses who hope to see an increase in priestly vocations must tap into this enthusiasm. They must do this by taking up and extending JPII's challenge (to "be not afraid" but to boldly serve Christ and his Church above all else) to the next generation. A happy and holy priesthood must constantly be promoted in creative and inspirational ways. Social media, Youtube, Twitter, blogs: these all have to be used to their fullest extent in getting out the word that "this" diocese is serious about producing great priests for the Church. Families and parishes have to be inundated with materials which instructs them how to create fertile environments for priestly vocations and they must be given fresh ideas for promoting the priesthood at the local level.

And then, the dioceses must ante up. They must step up to the plate by being a local church that not only fosters vocations to the priesthood, but also vigorously supports their current priests. How can they do this? By sending clear signals of support for the irreplaceable role of the priest in the local parish - support which distinguishes between the rightful role of the priesthood and the role of the laity. In other words, dioceses shouldn't create climate of modern-day clericalism where lay men and women are routinely charged with carrying out what should be pastoral duties within parishes while priests simply drop in as infrequent guests (i.e. "sacramental ministers") who are only present because of their "special powers." This model of parish leadership unfairly separates priests from lay people, unintentionally creating an artificial barrier between the two which diminishes the priests role as shepherd and diminishes his ability to effectively model servant-leadership for their local flock.

No one wants to work for a corporation that is gloomy, negative and unsupportive of its employees. So it is no surprise that dioceses who want to foster priestly vocations must work very hard not only to nurture and support viable priestly vocations, but also to give loving, fraternal (and paternal) support to current priests. Dioceses must do this by reallocating financial resources to better support priests long-term and to support (as a clear diocesan priority) the education of future priests.


God willing, this boom of priestly vocations will spread throughout the Church. But none of us can sit around waiting for it to happen. Pray for our seminarians and for more vocations to the priesthood!

Award Night

The Cross

I just heard on Marshall Ramsey's radio show that Sr. Dorothea is receiving a papal honor tonight at the Cathedral of St. Peter in Jackson. I guess it had been announced before in the Bishop's voice, The Mississippi Catholic, but I somehow missed it.

Here's more:
Pope Benedict XVI has chosen Sister Dorothea Sondgeroth to receive the Pro Ecclesia et Pontifice Cross for her many years of service to the church in the diocese and the Mississippi community.  The honor is for distinguished service to the church by lay people and clergy. It is the highest medal that can be awarded to the laity by the Papacy.

This is why our Building guidelines exist

The Gay Nazis are coming!

From an Anonymous poster:
Maybe the Bishop of Jackson has not alerted, nor explained to all priest what is going on. He may not think, because same-sex "marriage" is not being voted on, a real concern here. It is how the Bishops wish to proceed and is under Religious Liberty. If Kansas' ordinance continues, then the Church will either have to stop renting out their space, or face being sued. I would wonder if they had parishioners who wanted a gay "marriage" if they could refuse their facilities as they belong there. It gets complicated and will vary. The focus on teaching what marriage is and why it is important, is what we should be doing. To know that dangers are present is not delusional.

What he/she is referring to is this:
Hutchinson Human Relations Commission has explained that, under the new regulations, churches that make their buildings available for the general public would not be able to refuse gay couples. This essentially means that churches would be forced to, via rental agreements, support gay nuptials.
“They would not be able to discriminate against gay and lesbian or transgender individuals. That type of protection parallels to what you find in race discrimination,” Meryl Dye, a spokesperson for the commission, said in an interview with Fox News. “If a church provides lodging or rents a facility they could not discriminate based on race. It’s along that kind of thinking.” (I highlighted some points in red).

In prudence, we at St. John's have pretty strict guidelines for use. On page two, you will see:

Purpose and Use
All requests for use of facilities must be approved by the pastor, or
whomever the pastor delegates for such purpose, prior to making
reservations with the parish office administrator.
Parish facilities may not be used for political activities, private profitmaking
ventures or any enterprise, fundraiser or activity that opposes
the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Important point highlighted in red.

Where two or three are Zumba-ing...

Now I do know, very well, that a lot of Catholic churches in the diocese "rent" or allow the use of their facilities for anything from the Humane Society fundraiser to ZUMBA! classes (I added the exclamation point because Zumba is nothing without it). Most times it is not to "make money" but to keep sustenance funding in the parish. I argue that it may be time for that church to quietly close, but that's not the discussion here.

We had two old houses that pastors before me rented to students or others. I was not sure if that was prudent and was joined in the concern by parish council members. When we were debating over the use of the buildings I asked a HIGH-RANKING DIOCESAN official about stopping rental of church property and the response was something about the SISTERS HOUSING THOSE WHO HAVE NO HOME and THE RENT SUPPORTS THE MISSION OF JUSTICE. I said, "And can open us up for lawsuits". The response was sort of like, "DON'T BE SQUARE! LET THE MAN TRY TO SUE US!"
But with my knowledge of the Church and law, I get the lawsuit thing.

Now if we're not talking about the Parish Hall, Parish Center, Parish Office, Labyrinth, or anything like that and we're talking about the CHURCH, then I will be referring to Canon Law (yeah, I said the "C" word):
1210: "In a sacred place only those things are to be permitted which serve to exercise or promote worship, piety and religion. Anything out of harmony with the holiness of the place is forbidden. The Ordinary may, however, for individual cases, permit other uses, provided they are not contrary to the sacred character of the place."

I know we have a long way to go until our sacred is truly sacred again. And it may be more of "TONIGHT! THE SONGS OF JOURNEY IN THE SANCTUARY OF ST. CUNIGUNDA'S!" or "DANCIN' WITH THE OLDIES AT HOLY INNOCENTS PARISH. MEDICS AVAILABLE!"
But here in Oxford, we worship in Church and when we have fun?
We're Catholics! We go to bars!*


*Segue into TONIGHT! GOOD CHEER! @ THE LIBRARY OFF THE SQUARE! George Kehoe, actor and playwright is the speaker. He will speak on drama, faith and how they interact. And he will NOT perform his excellent play based on the last days of Bobby Sands in the Church. 7pm 

Adoration tonight!

Tonight will be the last night for Tuesday night Eucharistic Adoration this semester. Won't you come out and spend some time in prayer before our Lord in the Most Blessed Sacrament?

Starts at 6:30pm with Vespers (Evening Prayer). Ends at 8:00pm with Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament. Fr. Joe will also be hear Confessions during Adoration.

Horror Comics

I forgot this old Marvel comic from the 70's.

The story was that some sinister group of Gays had taken over every single institution in the world and forced people to gay marry. Romita did the art, if I remember correctly.

There was a harrowing scene where a priest was sitting in his office and the gays came in and were all "YOU GOTTA MARRY GAYS!" and he was all, "NO I DON'T!" and then they grabbed him and forced him to gay-marry people and then the Pope said, "OH NO! YOU HAVE MARRIED GAY PEOPLE! THEY ARE NOW HOLY MARRIED GAY!" And the priest was all, "AGGHHH!" and the gays were all "HAHAH! WE GOT SACRAMENTS AND NOW WE WANT WOMEN ORDAINED!" and the Pope was all "RAWWWRR! I'VE BEEN HAD!"
...and at the end the Devil ate his face off.

Really amazing stuff.

Oh, wait. That didn't happen. Ever. And it won't happen in real life.


If you persist in arguments that are based in delusion, I will comic-book you.

See? This is what people think will happen if gays marry

This comes from the UK:
The British Prime Minister, David Cameron, will not be able to exempt the Churches from a duty to offer marriages to gay couples, a senior Catholic barrister has warned, according to a report in The Catholic Herald.
Neil Addison, the director of the Thomas More Legal Centre, said that the Prime Minister’s assurances to the Church that they would not be compelled to perform religious marriage for gay couples are worthless.
He said two judgments by the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg combined with a Court of Appeal ruling in 2010 clearly showed that the Government would be acting illegally if it legalised civil gay marriages without permitting them on religious premises too.
It means that if the Coalition Government presses ahead with its plans to redefine marriage to include gay couples the Catholic Church could face prosecution under equality legislation for acting according with its teachings.
http://cathnews.com/article.aspx?aeid=31050

Scary. Harsh. And not going to happen.
It is also spoken of in America. If gay marriage is accepted as the law of the land, then Catholic Churches will have to marry gays. That's untrue.

A few things to remember:
1. Divorce is legal. A divorced person can marry another person civilly. However, the Catholic Church will not marry a "divorced" person until a Church annulment has been granted.

2. A Catholic priest/deacon can perform weddings only for Catholics. We cannot (or we're not supposed to) do weddings for anyone other than Catholics.

3. For a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic, certain conditions must be met. For example, the Catholic has to agree to baptize and raise the children in the Faith.

As you can see, we have been able to and will continue to hold on to our own Catholic marriage requirements. We aren't led by the culture nor inimical to it.
Our teachings on marriage are first and foremost  to foster the growth of the faith. Would it be awesome if the WHOLE WORLD was Catholic? Maybe. Ok, yes. But it's not nor do we ever suppose to speak on behalf of the world or at the world. Officially anyway.

Gay marriage is perhaps a social threat. Perhaps not. But it is not going to be a real threat to the sacrament of marriage just as much as we hold that one must be a male to be a priest or one must be Catholic to receive Holy Communion. We have our own teachings for our own. And, from time to time, our own actually follow the teachings!

However, it is interesting that the UK is still able to express outrage over threats to Catholic morality. I almost thought it was just an American thing. 

Anon...

Protestants beware! Shakespeare's graven image is also the key to the Batpole.

Today is William Shakespeare's birthday. Legend has it that on his 46th birthday, the Bard decided to treat himself to a little gift. So, as the story goes, whilst he was translating the King James Version of the Bible, he took great liberties with the the 46th Psalm. He chose 46, so it is said, because it was his 46th birthday.

When you go to the KJV, you will see the 46th Psalm written thusly:

Psalm 46
1 To the chief Musician for the sons of Korah, A Song upon Alamoth. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains SHAKE with the swelling thereof. Selah.
4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the SPEAR in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

You see what I did there? With the bold type? As the legend has it, going to the the "authorized" KJV, reading the 46th Psalm, count out 46 words from the beginning of the psalm, you will find that you have arrived at the word "shake". Now, count 46 words from the end of the psalm and the word revealed is "spear". The word "Selah" is not included.
So in Psalm 46, 46 words in and 46 words back give us the name "Shakespear(e)". All because of his 46th birthday!
Dang. I turned 46 this past summer and TOTALLY forgot to rewrite Scripture.

So the legend. Is this true? Maybe not. Is it cool? Very. 

Here's more that sort of sucks the cool out of the whole thing. 

“But man, proud man, Drest in a little brief authority,-- Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven As make the angels weep.” Shakespeare

Surrexit Christus Hoodie

I think a priest can cautiously approach popular and controversial media stories from the pulpit. He may also use the pulpit to further a social message with due discretion.

However, a priest should never use the liturgy to do either. Ever.

The liturgy is centered on Christ and his offering of himself. The vestments a priest wears are to promote that message. And that message alone.

And now, I present, the hoodie-Mass:



And the explanation:

But to be fair, this is from Trinity Wall Street Episcopal Church. But our guys shouldn't do this either.

Is 4/20 still funny?

For some reason, I am bemused at the 4/20 deal. I am sure it pertains to only a small, geekish fraction of our society here in Oxford but it still fascinates me that there is a day and a time that honors the smoking of weed.

I was going to do a bit about the Church's teaching on the use of marijuana and looking at a few sites found that when Catholics discuss marijuana, it's like when anyone discusses marijuana, there are lots and lots and lots of opinions. If anything, marijuana discussions make one loquacious. Especially when the topic is weed and religion, jam bands, political theory or how great Aqua Teen Hunger Force is.

Here's one such thread.

So as much as there is still an argument about weed and the Church, one thing is constant: Nuns doing bad stuff is always funny-

Just in case you're scandalized, those aren't nuns. Nuns don't wear habits, they aren't that young and the kind of parties nuns throw are like this:

Woo hoo. Who needs drugs?

Baby Boomer Dis of the Day

Yesterday, Dick Clark, "America's Oldest Teenager" died. To be honest, the man was "old" when I was a teen (back in the 80's) and I thought he was sort of an anachronism for the times. I knew he was "somebody" in the '50's but didn't figure he fit in with psychedelia, heavy metal, funk and whatever this was that I really liked at the time...

What an ass.

The Anchoress has a good reflection on Clark's death and what it may mean to the Baby Boomers. Clark never was much of a dissenter or protester, rather he came off as a bemused spectator of the times. Honest to goodness, I can't tell you how he stood politically or religiously and good on him for that. But his passing may very well be the FIRST of the Last of the World's Oldest Teenagers' demise. Much as they hate to admit they will f-f-fade away. Scalia has more:
"I admit, I have some issues with boomers; — who doesn’t? I’m convinced a third of them walked through the high school doors at age 14 and decided to stay there, and another third are perpetually floating through the years 1968 to 1973 like lost-and-angry satellites in space..."
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/theanchoress/

Sharks and Sparks

Guys like sharks

Girls like Sparks

Last night, I gave "THE TALK", as it is called, to the high school seniors. Every year I deliver some type of lecture on the Church's teaching concerning sex and sexuality.

I start with the differences of gender and work from there. And it is work. It is highly uncomfortable and embarrassing. For all involved. But it has to be done.

This year, THE TALK was hinged on the so-called "War on Women" that has been announced in the media, not the least, Comedy Central's Daily Show and Colbert Report which both cynically laugh at the term but also make sure the outrage at women's reproductive rights are being threatened is fueled. Example below:

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
4/17/12 in :60 Seconds
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

I'm all about the funny. And this show is funny. But I find that the funny is also satirical and it frames up the "War on Women" with a wink to the pro-abortion, pro-contraceptive ideologies that are corrosive to the church and society.

But I'm a guy. What do I know?

I read a very good article this morning written by a woman, Simcha Fisher, on speaking about sex in a Catholic context to those who aren't Catholic. Not a lot of answers here but some good thoughts. Fisher prophetically writes:

There will be a big mess.  It's what's has to happen.  Can't go under it, can't go around it, gotta go through it.  Let's not approach the conversation about the Church's views on sexuality with that fabled "contraceptive mentality," holding back what is good and poweful about our Faith, trying to control our interactions with the secular world too rigidly.  At the same time, let's at least give a thought to prudence:  you may think you're being all inspired and radical when you just open your mouth and leave it up to God to make something good come of it, but maybe some discretion is really in order.

Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/prudence-and-generosity-in-conversation#ixzz1sUqyXeTN

Typical woman. Discretion and prudence. MAN SMASH!

Two nights, two great causes

Tonight, in place of Good Cheer, we're encouraging everyone to attend the Kristian Stanfill concert at The Lyric. The Ole Miss chapter of SigEp is joining with Degree Ministry to sponsor the free event (just present your Ole Miss or Northwest CC student ID at the door). Please know, too, that the whole purpose behind this event is to bring awareness to the issue of human trafficking (i.e. modern-day slavery).

Donations will be accepted (and are encouraged) to help fight human trafficking as part of the 72 Days for Freedom campaign. We hope to see you there! And if you do come out, please prayerfully consider bringing a donation!

Tomorrow (Thursday) night, we will be going to see the film October Baby at Malco Oxford, Dutch treat. You know you want to go see a movie with us! The movie starts at 7:15pm so we'll meet out front a little after 7. Sure hope you can join us!

I will use your comments and make cartoons out of them...

We all are entitled to our opinions but sometimes they are written in a such a manner that it calls for some Magneto and a sinister laugh.

Good morning, earth. We're #$%*'d.

Blue skies.  Cool breeze. Sun shining. Little kids playing down in the courtyard. What a beautiful day. What a grand life. Now just to check the internet today and see...

OMG!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Click here for the most sobering, scary post of the day...
It's like building a library of the apocalypse. Here's a taste...

You’ve heard about the Death of the West. But the Muslim world is on the brink of an even greater collapse. WILL WE GO DOWN IN THE IMPLOSION? Thanks to collapsing birthrates, much of Europe is on a path of willed self-extinction. The untold story is that birthrates in Muslim nations are declining faster than anywhere else—at a rate never before documented. Europe, even in its decline, may have the resources to support an aging population, if at a terrible economic and cultural cost. But in the impoverished Islamic world, an aging population means a civilization on the brink of total collapse— something Islamic terrorists know and fear. Muslim decline poses new threats to America, challenges we cannot even understand, much less face effectively, without a wholly new kind of political analysis that explains how desperate peoples and nations behave. In How Civilizations Die, David P. Goldman—author of the celebrated “Spengler” column read by intelligence organizations worldwide—reveals how, almost unnoticed, massive shifts in global power are remaking our future.

 

We're Number 20!

Smithsonian Magazine rated Oxford as Number 20 of the Best Small Towns in America. Among other reasons, the magazine cites Oxford's literary legacy inspiring the rise of independent bookstores (of which I was not aware but..yay bookstores!).

Where in LA, every waitress in Bennigan's is an aspiring actress, in Oxford, you can't walk past any coffee shop or park bench without being in the presence of hopeful Grishams and Weltys.

The magazine did not mention that Oxford's Square is also the backdrop to the ultra-sophisticated Southernfriedcatholicism.com blog. But it is.

There was a drip

There was a drip
And then destruction
The repairman comes before coffee

I was grumpy this morning. Grumpier than usual. There was this leaky sound in my ceiling. I called the "guy". He came. He tore out my ceiling. Found out it was something in the pipes that just makes that noise. Now he has to repair two holes in my ceiling. This will take forever. And leave a mess.
But it's not a total loss. The repair guy's a comic fan. We discussed Ghost Rider. My cousin visited today and we had a nice talk. I found some old Christmas candy that was still good.
And it's haiku day.

I am better now
Silence and caffeine soothe
Enjoy Haiku Day


Leave a haiku if you wish...

St. Bernadette

One of the phenomena of the "Charismatic Renewal" in the Catholic Church during the '70's through the early 2000's  was the blossoming of "Healing Masses". These Masses include an anointing ritual. The ritual may or may not be the Anointing of the Sick. Many times, the celebrant will anoint with oil any who come forward so that they may be healed.

St. Bernadette

An old monsignor was commenting on these "Healing Masses" and said, "If they're so great for healing, how come the same people show up week after week?"*

Healing is never promised us but it seems to be one of the great arguments against God for some, "IF GOD IS SO GOOD, THEN WHY IS THERE CANCER? BLINDNESS? GINGIVITIS?" and so on.
It's a hard question and a basic question. The nature of suffering is one of those make or break issues to the faithful.
Which brings me to today's saint: Bernadette Soubirous. Long story short, Bernadette was given a vision of the Blessed Mother in the mid-19th century. The Blessed Mother identified herself as the "Immaculate Conception" but we call her "Our Lady of Lourdes". It is in Lourdes that pilgrims go for healing. The Church affirms that this is authentic.
Now, despite the countless healings attributed to the site and the intercession of the Blessed Mother, Bernadette herself died from a serious bone disease. One may be cynical and surmise that, "She found a healing source but it could not heal her" which echoes some of the attitudes toward Christ on the cross.

There is a difference between healing and curing. The Church makes no promises of either. As it goes with the saints, physical healing is given if it be necessary for salvation. Perhaps the same is said of cures.

Bernadette died in peace and her body is noted to be one of the incorruptibles. The degradation of death has not physically ruined her body (inside and out!). I suppose that maybe God has made her fit for the resurrection. Like Jesus appeared with wounds to his disciples so they may believe, Bernadette's incorruptible body may be a sign that it's not always about being healed to live but being preserved for the afterlife that matters.

The monsignor's comments were thought provoking, and funny, to be honest but there is something beautiful about those who trust in God so greatly that they do go to their churches...even Lourdes...for healing. 


*since then there has been some Vatican corrections to the Healing Mass. Or attempts at correction. The spirit moves....

Friday the 13th: In defense of kittehs

One of my friends, Fr. Brian Kaskie, somehow found it important to tell me, "There are no cats mentioned in the Bible. None." I said, "Lions are cats." He said, "Doesn't count. I'm talking about cats." He meant the varieties such as the Tabby, Siamese, Calico, American Shorthair and so on.
He was, as he'll be quick to tell you anytime, right. Again.

That is until I found out about this:

Now the Bible is not only filled with cats (and basically only cats), it is written by cats for cats. Or at least by a cat named Martin Grondin who, is to l33t speak to what King James was to...ummm..English speak..spake. Something. Click here for the online version. You will lose your day.

On this Friday the 13th, the day where the black cat is especially remembered, I give you little taste of today's Gospel, for LOL Catz:
Happy Cat makz Fishburgerz

1 Aftr dez stuff, teh dscpls sez happy cat at Tiberiases Sea, and he duz it liek ths.2 Simon Petercat and Thomcat whoz naemd Didcatymus and Nathaniel frm Cana in Galilee, Zebedeez sonz, and two othuh dscpls wuz tgthr.3 And Simon Peter sez to thm: "Ize goan out fssshng." And they sez: "Weez goin too." So out goez them and getz into the baot, but they din catchin nuthn. All nght. Srsly.4 Happy Cat, sez dem, but dey did not dink it was Happy Cat.5 He mewd, "Haf u any fish?". Dey zed "Nu".6 He zed, "Drop ur fish net de other wayz". Dey did dis an loz of yumy fish fild teh net an dey couldnt pick it al up.7 Den teh dscpl woh Happy Cat luvz, zed "it is Ceiling Catz kitty", an petercat herd dis he put on his top and jumd in teh nasty watrz to get to Happy Cat.8 Teh othrz came in with the boat and al teh fish.9 Dey sez him cooking fish burgerz.10 Happy Cat sez to dem, "Bring some fish to cook".11 Petercat got teh 153 vry big fish an dropd dem at Happy Cat, an teh net had nu hols in it.12 Happy Cat sez "ymm, eat", an nu dscpls sez "who r u?", dey all knoz he was Ceiling Catz kitty.13 Happy Cat dropd dem teh fishburgers.14 An dat waz twee tiems Happy Cat waz with dscpls after hm liev again.

Well, I have seen worse translations. And, hey, Pentecost is just around the corner. Maybe some of those creative Masses where everyone reads in their own language at one time, someone can represent the catz.
Oh noez!!!!1

Bless me, Father/Deacon/Minister...

Suffer the little children...and how.

Since 1995, I've said this right before the distribution of the Eucharist at Mass:
"We welcome our friends and family members who are not Catholic to the celebration of Mass. It means a lot to us and we're glad you're here. Even though we Christians do believe in the Father God and his son, the Christ, we do not have the same beliefs in the Church and the role of the Sacraments. So as the Catholics come forward for Communion, those of you who are not Catholic may come for a blessing from me or the minister. The way we'll know you're there for the blessing is if you make a cross like so (and I do this crossing my arms over my chest thing). Thank you for being here and thank you for adding to our liturgy."
Sometimes I add or subtract things but that's the crux of it.

During that time, some people have said, "That's such an inviting gesture. My wife felt that being in the pew alone was the loneliest place in town until she came up for blessings" or "I was coming up for blessing for so long that I decided to go on and become Catholic!"
Others have said, "The blessing is a little clappy-happy for me and I don't think everyone who comes needs to get a prize" or "Offering a blessing makes my Protestant husband feel demeaned and like a second-class citizen".

The General Instruction on the Roman Missal (the handbook to celebrating Mass) says nothing about blessings but, Catholics being Catholics, someone wrote Rome and got a reply. There are five reasons that are listed against the blessings: There is a blessing at the end of Mass; Laity are not to give blessings; some people are not disposed to receive blessings; laying on of hands is prohibited and the Rite is not to be amended or changed. An excellent article on this is available by making clickyclicky here.

One of our followers, Fr. Cory Sticha, has a very good article on his blog about his own personal decision with this issue. He is referring to blessing children but I am positive the intent is farther reaching. Appealing to Vatican II (yes, Vatican II), he says:

Fr. Sticha in Montana priestly garb

To be clear, this is a position taken not out of spite, but out of a respect for the liturgy and for the documents of the Second Vatican Council. In paragraph 22, Sacrosanctum Concilium states, “Therefore no other person, even if he be a priest, may add, remove, or change anything in the liturgy on his own authority.” A priest does not have the authority to add a blessing to the liturgy for anyone, because a priest does not have the authority to add anything to the liturgy. It doesn’t matter if other priests go beyond their authority and do it in disobedience. In my mind, it is inappropriate, and I will not. Period.

Fr. Sticha concludes by asking support from his parish. Good luck on that, Pater! I see this article has 101 comments (at this writing). I don't need to get worked up so I won't read them but I won't argue with a priest in a wide-brimmed hat!

For me, I am divided.
Pro-blessing: It does give people a sense of welcome and inclusion. Some people have said it has led to their conversion. We're in a Protestant culture so a good general "coming up to the altar" is a good PR move.
Con-blessing: Other than the five above, here are some additional reasons. I don't touch people but some of the EMHC (extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion) do. They touch faces, shoulders, foreheads, cheeks, hair, and whatever a hand can touch.  This first makes the blessing some kind of intimacy which isn't really Roman. It also can easily profane the host by wiping the same hand that handles Our Lord's Body across some guy's head. So he may have very well gotten communion. But not on the tongue or in the hand but on the face!

Even Jack Kirby knew face touching was pure eeeeeeeeeeevil

 Secondly,some ministers enjoy the touch-blessing a little too much. In a town full of co-eds, that comes off as creepy. Or it is creepy. Yes, it is creepy.

Before someone says, "LAY TEH SMACKDOWNZZ ON TEH COMMUNION MINISTERZZ!!!LOL!!!", I direct your attention to our Bishop's response. Seems our clergy (deans) brought it up for discussion at a priest's meeting recently. The conclusion, at this point, came to a compromise:

Attention Extraordinary Ministers of Holy
Communion: In response to a recent request, the
question of Eucharistic Ministers blessing people
was researched. According to Liturgical
Guidelines, Extraordinary Ministers of Holy
Communion should welcome those not receiving
Holy Communion by placing their hand on their
shoulder and saying a short prayer, such as “May
God bless you” or “The Lord be with you.” They
should not give a blessing. Please implement this
guideline with your Extraordinary Ministers of Holy
Communion.

I think we can continue the discussion as a Diocese but recently I've made attempts at moving the "blessing during Communion" toward the ordained ministers, that is the deacon and myself.

Which is to say, props to Fr. Sticha, but blessings still are given here.

And in my line? I won't touch your face.

Pollen

Who can beat this?
65 degrees outside.
Blue skies.
Nice breeze.
Driving up on historic Hwy 61.
Got Sirius Satellite going with the Shins pop beat.
Big Digger cigar lit.

Who can beat this?

Pollen that's who.
And yes, Pollen is a "who". Just like the Devil is a "who". Exactly like the devil.

Pollen: that's in your nose. Right now. Spiky balls.

Still it's all beautiful outside I just feel like I'm living in a concrete shell of myself. If a concrete shell was filled with boogers.

The Shins...

Those crazy kids...

A little follow-up on previous posts.
I know that me not so smart but I am impressed and humbled by the intelligence, piety and service of some of our college students here. Some have intimated to me that they wouldn't be against studying about a vocation to the religious life and priesthood.
That's good news in the midst of a strong movement to tier parishes in such a way that the priest is a functionary who dispenses sacraments while laity (unconsecrated often) "run" the parish. This is not the Catholic way and hasn't worked in procreating the future of the Church.

We need some smart young ones to sober us up. And looks like we're getting them.
Those entering religious orders in 2011 were also highly educated. Almost 60 percent had earned at least a bachelor’s degree, and 16 percent had earned a graduate degree as well.  Sixty-five percent of survey respondents identified themselves as white, while 19 percent identified as Asian and nine percent identified as Hispanic. The U.S. bishops have recently commissioned a survey on Hispanic vocations, to determine why the group is under-represented.
Catholicnewsagency.com

Wow. Girls do come out in numbers for Christ. Feeling the heat, Justin Beiber?

Un-treat

Clerical: Look at this guy. Clericalling all over the place.

I went off to the Mississippi Delta Sunday afternoon to spend a couple of days with my family. Traditionally, priests of the Diocese go on retreat during this week to...hahaha..recover...from...Holy...hahahah...Week...buhahaha!
I promise, I PROMISE, one day I will write... IN GREAT DETAIL... of the BUSY PRIEST SYNDROME. I promise you, it will be to priests what Penn and Teller are to magic. Fat, bitter and balding.

Fr. Witherup wearing clerics.

Anyway, since I was missing out, one of the priests on retreat texted me (yes, texted on retreat) that the director, Fr. Ron Witherup, "slammed" the "new clericalism".
The "new clericalism" isn't much different from the "new clericalism" that was "slammed" when I was ordained. Here's what the new clericalism is:
1. Young priests who want to wear cassocks and fiddlebacks instead of participating as a minister among equals at the common supper of the Lord.
2. Young priests who study Latin and want to learn the Tridentine Mass which THEY NEVER EVER KNEW BEFORE!
3. Young priests who cozy up to the rich instead of aligning themselves to the POOR and IMMIGRANT!
4. Young priests who quote canon law and the Catechism instead of pastorally instructing the faithful with gentleness and mercy.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand finally:
5. Young priests.
The priest texted later that it struck him funny that a group of bloated priests with bellies filled with free booze, steak and cake given to them by the KoC's, an organization that serves priests, can justify speaking negative of the "new clericalism" of the younger priests.  With their mouths full.

Sicut erat in principio...

Non-clerical: the spirit of YOUTH!

Whiny priesty boy talks again about fasting

Christ fasts in the desert. No food, no water. 40 days. That's why he's God and I'm not.

A few years ago I read about rigorous fasting that other religions carry out. I was interested because some announcer was telling of how sturdy a football player was during summer training and added that the kid drank no water or ate no food because of Ramadan, the Islamic month of fasting.
I had earlier read of an Orthodox Jew who during Yom Kippur also shunned food and water.

So, not to be a wuss, I looked up one of our older fasting traditions. It had the ominous name of "THE BLACK FAST".  The suggestion in pursuing this type of fast is that one not have any water or food from sunrise to sunset. I decided to do this on First Fridays.

The first First Friday I did it, I wasn't too bothered. But I did get a headache, as was predicted. I also felt nauseous at the end of the period. Now this was also in the summer which means there's lots of time between the sunrise and the sunset. Foolishly, when the sun went down, I went to the Chinese-ish Buffet and after my meal, promptly got ill at home. Should have read that cookie, "When you fast, don't eat MSG!"

This same pattern went on for the next few months. Even without the dinner at the end, I would end up sick. I found out that it is possible that even with no food one can get sick. And I was one of those people.

So I've given up on the Black Fast. I was going to do it today but didn't want to vom during the Stations of the Cross so decided to do the more rational USCCB version of fasting.
Had grits and coffee this morning.
Coffee and a pack on nabs this afternoon.

And tonight...CHINESE BUFFET!

Suffice it to say, once I went Black Fast, I went back fast.
Haha...
Oh..um...Blessed Solemn Day to you all.

My font is bigger than your font

One of the features of the newly refurbished cathedral in Jackson is that they retained the small font for Baptism. I was wondering if they'd be installing a large immersion font because the Bishop has made it clear that he wants those in newly built churches.

Hairy naked baptism. 3rd century naked was like 1970's naked.

The symbolism of immersion baptism is rich and beautiful. It's ancient but it's not the ONLY form of Baptism. There are thousands of jokes and arguments made concerning immersion vs "sprinkling" (or pouring). Suffice it to say, either is fine and valid.

But ritually, the immersion baptism can be a bit of a mess. And methinks that ritually it also becomes somewhat an unnecessary distraction. The main event of the Vigil is the dunking rather than the richness of each sacrament and the solemnity of it all. I am pretty sure (but am open to correction) that the early immersion baptisms weren't public due to the catechumen (the one to be baptized) being buck-nekkid and dunked in the water then clothed in the white baptismal gown. It also is written that the baptism of the aforementioned naked person was done in a darkened baptistry to hide the nakedness (but it's not like a big deal, we're talking 3rd century naked which is probably not as HAWT as you'd think. If you think). It also was dark to show that the initiated enters in darkness and emerges with light. If not in a darkened room, it certainly wasn't an occasion for everyone to see. Only a few witnesses and of the same gender as the baptized, I believe, were there. So the rite still retained some gravitas.

And without further adieu, in tribute to the dunkers and the swimmers and the DREs who love them, here's my annual presentation of HOT TUB BAPTISMAL MACHINE:

Melchizidek say what?

The Chrism Mass at the refurbished St. Peter's Cathedral

Last night at the Chrism Mass in Jackson, Bishop Latino reminded the congregation that the oils were given to parishes and missions. There the LEM (lay ecclesial minister) takes them and the sacramental minister uses them to anoint the sick and under certain circumstances confirm the catechumen. A few priests sacramental ministers, younger priests sacramental ministers, gasped when they heard that. Or more like made that "tut-tut" noise and an exasperated low growl.

It's not they were shocked to hear they could "anoint". They knew that. It's the use of the term "sacramental minister". It's a term that has gotten to be synonymous with priesthood in the diocese or as one feisty DRE said, THE CHURCH OF A NEW PARADIGM. I like saying it "pair-a-digum" to make it sound like stupid people saying it.

The priests sacramental ministers then renewed their promises to the bishop and the Mass Eucharistic Celebration continued. Oils were then blessed and dispensed to the laity to bring back to their parishes, missions, communities, or collectives.

Oxford was represented by Skip and Sarah Langley. Skip will be baptized during the Vigil Saturday. By me, the sacramental minister. When Mass was over, they gave me the oils. Then we went out for dinner and discussed Batman, hexes, Siberia and prisons in Belize. The table next to me was presided over by Fr. Brian Kaskie, another priest sacramental minister of the diocese, and his entourage from McComb. He also had three native sons who are studying to be priests sacramental ministers in his company.

Sacramental ministers with a sacramental bishop

As you can tell, I am not too thrilled with being called a "sacramental minister". It's like calling a mother a "baby feeder" or an electrical engineer an "electrician" or a male nurse a "male nurse". It just doesn't sit right.

The Bishop did say that the oil of Chrism that is placed on a man's hands at ordination imprints a character upon him throughout eternity. I like that idea. Always have. But I'm just hoping that when I am called into the afterlife, do my just penance in Purgatory for my peccadilloes such as laziness, smoking, saying "poop" in front of kids and blogging snarky stuff,  the Lord would say to me as I enter the Kingdom, "You are a priest FOREVER in the line of Mechizidek!" and not, "Oh, it's a sacramental minister. We really don't need you up here. Plus, the laity can do almost everything you do anyway. If it weren't for ROME!!!" and then look at St. Peter really mean.

That Peter and his Romishness.

Holy Week in Oxford

Now that we've roundly handed the Gators their green tails and sent them home, the traditional three day series which obscures our Triduum will not happen this year.

Beautiful people leaving Stations of the Cross. If you're beautiful, you go to Stations.

So pay attention, commit to memory, plug it in your icalendar or whatever. Here 'tis!

Nothing happens today. Well, there's the Chrism Mass in Jackson. This Mass is held in the Cathedral in Jackson. The Bishop is the presider and there is a blessing of the oils and the consecration of the Holy Chrism. I'll let Brad tell more on that. This is just a quick glance. But Chrism smells awesome!
I'm going to the Mass. I'll renew my promises to the Bishop. And notice that I am now one of the balding, old men who I used to snicker at. But I think I'll wear dress shoes instead of nylon velcro shoes. I'm not there yet.

Holy Oils

Wednesday we have our teens leading a Stations of the Cross in the Church. That's at..what? 6:35pm I think? So if you're worried you can't make it at 6:30...chillax. You got 5 minutes. The Stations should be over in time for everyone in the whole state to watch Skylar. 80's night! I haven't heard her selection but think I'd go with "There is A Light That Never Goes Out" by the Smiths  or "Adult Education" by Hall and Oates. She won't do either. Just a hope. Wow...I typed "chillax" and admitted to wanting to hear Hall and Oates. I am the gray, bald old man. I deserve velcro shoes.

Got Skylar fevar?

Thursday. Holy Thursday. Mass is at 7:00pm. It's not a text book "high Mass" but dang close. Incense. Flowers. Decorative cloths. Deacons. Servers. The clacker. Just brilliant.
Vigil with the Blessed Sacrament goes until 10:00pm. Technically it goes to midnight but it's gotta be midnight somewhere. I'm hearing Confessions during the vigil.

Pretty sure Pat and Mike won't be part of Good Friday.
It's an Oxford thing. Gotta know somebody to get it.

Friday. Good Friday. Confessions out the wazoo. Which is a venial sin. Don't touch your wazoo! But if you do...Confession! 11:00am until 12:00pm and then at 1:30pm until 2:30pm.
Stations of the Cross at 3:00pm
Service at 5:30pm. And Brad can tell you more about that than I. No Mass. Service. Deacon Ted is the homilist. Veneration of the Cross. Good good stuff. Catholic stuff.



Saturday. In the morning, at around 10:00am, I am blessing baskets. Then we have a rehearsal for the RCIA.
Then...
Confessions (more of these!) at 6:30pm until 7:30pm. Then the Vigil Mass begins at 8:00pm on the piazza with the Easter Fire.
Lots of Ole Miss students are being brought in the Faith this year. I am proud of the size of the class. I think we have about 26. Not to shabby!

Got the schedule? Good. Not one more peep. hahahaha! I'm a riot.

Easter Sunday: Mass at 8:30 and 11:00am with an egg hunt in between. For little kids, that is. If you can read this, no egg hunt!

Phew. That's Holy Week in Oxford. COME OUT AND JOIN US!